I am so scared and worried today. My friend in Germany is back in her coma and the doctors aren't very positive about the outcome now. And her boyfriend, who I have become very close to is giving up - not on her - but himself. He has dropped out of school. He is talking to counselors about giving up his daughter for adoption. And he talking about fixing all his problems for good. He hasn't said the word suicide yet, but I hear it none-the-less.
He isn't disabled, but his baby's mother is. He is so desperately in need of help. He is 22 and alone in making life and death decisions about his girlfriend. He isn't handling it well. Right now the only things that keeps his girlfriend alive are his decisions to keep providing the machines that keep her alive, and the medication and his holding her hand that keeps her lucid when she awakes. Without him, she will die. Because of her, he may choose to die. A little girl may lose both her parents because we don't offer enough support to people who are in desperate need of support.
I feel so helpless. There is nothing I can do but wait for the next email and hope I have something helpful to say.
Showing posts with label Assisted suicide. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Assisted suicide. Show all posts
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Prego!
My friend is out of the coma ever so slightly. She has come out of it and gone back in. She has refused medication she was getting while in her coma and then become paranoid and hysterical. When they calmed her down she went back into the coma. They have turned off all the machines that have been keeping her alive. I never thought I would be for doing this, but I am. The doctors said it was time to find out whether she wanted to fight to live or not. It's not clear yet what is going to happen. She seems to be living in limbo. Sometimes I wish one thing would happen and others times I wish the other. I wish she could be who she was before, but since I don't think she will, maybe it is best if....oh I can't even write the words.
In the meantime her daughter has spoken her first word. I am so excited. Her first word was prego - which is please in Italian. Her dad is Italian. I think it is such a wonderful first word. My first word was cookie. Prego is such a polite word - a sign of good breeding - a sign that she has a father who truly respects her as a person. Please let her have the wonderful life she deserves!
In the meantime her daughter has spoken her first word. I am so excited. Her first word was prego - which is please in Italian. Her dad is Italian. I think it is such a wonderful first word. My first word was cookie. Prego is such a polite word - a sign of good breeding - a sign that she has a father who truly respects her as a person. Please let her have the wonderful life she deserves!
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Hanging on
My friend is still in a coma. Her fiance is struggling with what to do about her life. It is hard to be a support person to help a person make their own decision when you have very very definite ideas about the choice you think they should make. Or at least you did for awhile.
She has two doctors - one which says pull the plug, she will never recover and the other who says it is too early to tell, she is still improving. He says in one minute he is so tired of waiting and not knowing and having her not react to him at all - and then he says he will hold her hand forever waiting for her to wake-up.
His life is on hold while he waits for her to wake up. I want to help him move on with his life without feeling as if he is abandoning her. He worries if he is not there everyday by her bedside it will be his fault if she dies. But he is 22 and college is important. He needs to make money to support himself and his daughter. He can't be there everyday and give their 8 month old the attention she needs.
So does a point come where because her quality of life has to be set aside because two other people - the only other two people who truly care if she lives or dies - can't spend much time with her- so she shouldn't live anymore? We don't know what, if any, awareness she has - perhaps it doesn't matter to her that no one visits her for several days. Perhaps she is healing and has no sense of time. Is her life any less valuable because she spends days of it alone?
But I also wonder if the reason she doesn't wake up from her coma is that she doesn't want to. She, after all, attempted suicide. Could living be torture for her? She can't get the therapy she needs now to want to live. If she could - would she say pull the plug? We all have the right to refuse treatment, but she can't refuse it. Is it wrong to give life sustaining treatment to a person who has attempted suicide and failed?
I don't know anymore. I was sure before that she should be given as much time as she needed to recover. Months, years, whatever it took. But now I wonder. Is she hanging on or is she being tortured by being forced to live?
We can only guess.
Note: Everytime I post about these friends - something new happens. Well about the time I was writing this she woke up again. Still not communicating, but her eyes are open and she is tracking things.
End of day - she is moving a little, talking a little - things are looking good.
She has two doctors - one which says pull the plug, she will never recover and the other who says it is too early to tell, she is still improving. He says in one minute he is so tired of waiting and not knowing and having her not react to him at all - and then he says he will hold her hand forever waiting for her to wake-up.
His life is on hold while he waits for her to wake up. I want to help him move on with his life without feeling as if he is abandoning her. He worries if he is not there everyday by her bedside it will be his fault if she dies. But he is 22 and college is important. He needs to make money to support himself and his daughter. He can't be there everyday and give their 8 month old the attention she needs.
So does a point come where because her quality of life has to be set aside because two other people - the only other two people who truly care if she lives or dies - can't spend much time with her- so she shouldn't live anymore? We don't know what, if any, awareness she has - perhaps it doesn't matter to her that no one visits her for several days. Perhaps she is healing and has no sense of time. Is her life any less valuable because she spends days of it alone?
But I also wonder if the reason she doesn't wake up from her coma is that she doesn't want to. She, after all, attempted suicide. Could living be torture for her? She can't get the therapy she needs now to want to live. If she could - would she say pull the plug? We all have the right to refuse treatment, but she can't refuse it. Is it wrong to give life sustaining treatment to a person who has attempted suicide and failed?
I don't know anymore. I was sure before that she should be given as much time as she needed to recover. Months, years, whatever it took. But now I wonder. Is she hanging on or is she being tortured by being forced to live?
We can only guess.
Note: Everytime I post about these friends - something new happens. Well about the time I was writing this she woke up again. Still not communicating, but her eyes are open and she is tracking things.
End of day - she is moving a little, talking a little - things are looking good.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Illegal assisted suicide...in Oregon
You might think that legalizing assisted suicide in Oregon would end illegal assisted suicide - but it hasn't. Two nurses in Portland decided to help a woman to die 2 years ago, but it is only recently that the family was told. They thought she had died as a natural progression of her cancer. http://www.portlandtribune.com/news/story.php?story_id=118367242275954900
These two nurses decided that they didn't need to follow the rules about having a period of notification before it was done, having counseling, and most importantly have a physician be involved (as it is physician assisted suicide, not nurse assisted suicide). They had access and knowledge how to do it- so they did.
Now perhaps you think people should have the right to assisted suicide, but there is also a question as to whether assisted suicide was even wanted. Yes, the person in question was in pain, and was receiving hospice care, but the children of Wendy Melcher don't believe this was anything requested by their father (Wendy is transgendered). They believe their father would have told them and he didn't.
So what happened to these nurses who essentially murdered Wendy Melcher? So far nothing as it was only reported to the state two weeks ago - even though the Nursing board has known about it all along.
How do we protect our most vulnerable citizens from people who are over zealous to do what they think is right and now live in a state that gives them easy access to the tools to do it?
These two nurses decided that they didn't need to follow the rules about having a period of notification before it was done, having counseling, and most importantly have a physician be involved (as it is physician assisted suicide, not nurse assisted suicide). They had access and knowledge how to do it- so they did.
Now perhaps you think people should have the right to assisted suicide, but there is also a question as to whether assisted suicide was even wanted. Yes, the person in question was in pain, and was receiving hospice care, but the children of Wendy Melcher don't believe this was anything requested by their father (Wendy is transgendered). They believe their father would have told them and he didn't.
So what happened to these nurses who essentially murdered Wendy Melcher? So far nothing as it was only reported to the state two weeks ago - even though the Nursing board has known about it all along.
How do we protect our most vulnerable citizens from people who are over zealous to do what they think is right and now live in a state that gives them easy access to the tools to do it?
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